Stardate: -315899.88

The following conversation was intercepted on an open channel between Saragon; an all-knowing energy being, and Image of Sarrek (aka “Yarenek”); a sentient heavily-foreclawed volcanic deposit.

 

Image of Sarrek:  Saragon, during our recent mission to Earth, my tricorder logged references to both pasto and antipasto; each word appearing frequently on laminated food reference forms at various nourishment emporiums and on some food packaging materials.  Apparently each word represents a food item.  The question: If pasto and antipasto meet, does a cataclysmic explosion occur?  Could said explosion be incorporated as weaponry in a spectacle?  The old good vs. evil thing needs a little enhancement.

 

SaragonSarrek, my child, the classic pasto/antipasto reaction is used by some primitive cultures for fueling their crude oxidative metabolic processes.  In humanoid form, Yarenek, you would find it sufficient to power your flimsy, fleshy body throughout any given day.  In volcanic foreclawed form, however, it simply would not do.  In terms of its utility in an Excalpian spectacle, the “food fight” was in vogue in certain terran cultures for some time, but its appeal is by no means galaxy-wide. My advice is to stick with your original spectacle parameters.  I must go now.  I am on Orion 7 visiting a “spa”, but my all-knowing mind perceived your request, and I had a moment to respond.

 

Image of Sarrek: Thank you Saragon, and enjoy your spa time with Zora!

 

Saragon:  Negative.  I left Zora on Excalpia to see what she could do for your complexion and nails.  All of the women here are green.

 

Image of Sarrek: Oh, is Zora here? I haven't seen her yet. I could use her to pop my magma pustules, which are of course very troublesome for our species. I believe her experience with biochemistry (e.g. Halcion V) will facilitate some discussion amongst my fellow Excalpions on a permanent modification of our collective phenotype.

 

Saragon: Many such modifications are possible.  Personally, I find your body temperature to be a benefit, as I get a bit chilly probing the icy blackness of space with my mind.  In terms of your attractiveness to other species, I’d sooner focus on a good manicure and let the body temp thing go.  Besides, some chicks dig it steamy.

 

Image of Sarrek: Excellent - steamy - yes, the young ones; I'd almost forgotten as these images have been deeply buried in my memory neurons. 

 

 

 

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