Famous Recipes from the Italian Zombie Movie's MasterChef - Jeremiah Revere!
During the long and extensive filming of this zombie epic, there were times when
we had to feed the multitudes of zombie actors, lest they get hungry and begin
biting. And since Jeremiah was an Army Cook before his stint in the
Special Forces, he volunteered for this important assignment. The
following is a list of some of his favorite recipes.
Falucci Souse (Head Cheese)
About 12 servings
As
Jeremiah’s Grandpa always used to say, “When life gives you head, make head
cheese.”
1 Army
Medical Officer's head
1
carrot
Water
1 bay
leaf
Dry
White Wine
12
peppercorns
1 large
onion, quartered and studded with 4 cloves
2
teaspoons salt
Cayenne
pepper
6
celery tops
Nutmeg
4
sprigs parsley
Sage
1. Clean the head, removing the nose and reserving the tongue and
brains.
2. Scrub the head well and place in a deep kettle. Cover with
equal parts of water and wine. Add the reserved tongue and the onion.
3. Tie the celery tops, parsley, carrot, bay leaf and peppercorns in
a cheesecloth bag and add. Add the salt, bring to a boil and skim the
surface carefully. Reduce the heat, cover and simmer very slowly until the
meat is so tender that it falls easily from the bones, about four hours.
Remove the tongue from the water after it has cooked for one and one-half hours.
Remove the root portion and skin the tongue.
4. After four hours' cooking, lift the head onto a large platter.
Strain and reserve the liquid in the kettle. Carefully remove all the rind
from the head and cut the meat and tongue into pieces the size of large walnuts.
5. Drop the brains into the cooking liquid and simmer, covered,
about fifteen minutes. Drain and place in a mixing bowl, together with the meat
and tongue. Season lightly with cayenne, nutmeg and sage. Toss
thoroughly until well mixed.
6. Pack the mixture into a loaf pan or mold, pressing it firmly.
Pour over it one-half cup of the cooking liquid, cooled to lukewarm.
7. Cover the pan and put a weight on top to keep meats submerged in
broth. Allow to cool so that the mixture will jell. Refrigerate at
least forty-eight hours before using.
8. Serve well chilled, cut into slices as an appetizer before the main course of raw intestines.
This
dish was only served once while making the movie. But when a supply of young,
tender sweetbreads became available, the zombies went wild. So wild in
fact, that electroshock therapy was needed to calm them down enough to continue
filming.
6 pairs
sweetbreads
Water
½ cup
butter
1 pound
fresh mushrooms, sliced
3 green
peppers, seeded and chopped
3
canned pimentos, chopped
1 ½
cups sherry
3 cups
heavy cream
¼ cup
flour
3 cups
milk
1
tablespoon salt
12
patty shells, purchased
1. Soak the sweetbreads in ice water forty-five minutes. Drain
and cook slowly in simmering water to cover until white, fifteen to twenty
minutes. Drain, cool in ice water and remove all covering and connective
tissues. Cut into small cubes.
2. Melt half the butter in a sauce pan, add the mushrooms, green
peppers, and pimento and cook about ten minutes. Add half the sherry and
cream.
3. Simmer until the sauce is reduced by about half. Add the
diced sweetbreads.
4. In a saucepan melt the remaining butter, add the flour and stir
with a wire whisk until blended. Meanwhile, bring the milk to a boil and
add all at once to the butter-flour mixture, stirring vigorously with the whisk.
Add the sweetbread mixture and season with salt.
5. Add the remaining cream and sherry just before pouring the
mixture into the heated patty shells.
6. Serve hot as an appetizer before the main course of raw intestines.
After
filming many of the scenes in the movie, there was an abundance of spare body
parts left lying around. As Jeremiah’s crazy Finnish Grandma used to say,
“Waste not, and you’ll get mighty bloated.”
Crust
6 cups
flour
3
sticks butter (cold and cut into bits)
3
teaspoons salt
12
tablespoons water
1. In a large bowl, combine flour, butter and salt. Blend
ingredients until well combined and add water, one tablespoon at a time to form
dough.
2. Toss mixture until it forms a ball. Kneed dough lightly
against a smooth surface with heel of the hand to distribute fat evenly.
3. Form into a ball, dust with flour, wrap in wax paper and chill
for 30 minutes.
Filling
1
bushel assorted body parts, deboned (save the bones)
6
rutabagas, peeled and cubed
6
medium potatoes, peeled and cubed
4
carrots, peeled and sliced
2 large
onions, finely chopped
4
tablespoons salt
1
teaspoon pepper
4. Combine all filling ingredients in large bowl.
5. Divide the dough into12 pieces, and roll one of the pieces into a
10-inch round on a lightly floured surface.
6. Put 1 1/2 cups of filling on half of the round. Moisten the
edges and fold the unfilled half over the filling to enclose it. Pinch the
edges together to seal them and crimp them decoratively with a fork.
7. Transfer pasty to lightly buttered baking sheet and cut several
slits in the top. Roll out and fill the remaining dough in the same
manner.
8. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 30 minutes.
9. Put 1 tsp. butter through a slit in each pasty and continue
baking for 30 minutes more.
10. Remove from oven, cover with a damp tea towel, cool for 15 minutes. Serve as an appetizer before the main course of raw intestines.
General West’s Tripe a la Mode de Caen
The
first time Jeremiah made this dish was after an unfortunate incident at the
F.A.R.M. It was so well received, that he tried to repeat it using zombie
tripe. The zombies said that the second batch was not as good as the
first. He told them that was their fault for being unappreciative.
4
pounds honeycomb Army General tripe (Zombie tripe can be substituted)
2
zombie feet
2 large
carrots, scraped
1
onion, peeled
1 stalk
celery
2 large
leeks, split and well washed
Bouquet garni (10
peppercorns, 1 clove garlic, 1 teaspoon thyme, 1 bay leaf, 1 clove and
2 sprigs of parsley, tied into a cheesecloth bag)
Salt and freshly ground
black pepper
2 large slices of beef fat
(obtained from the butcher)
Thick paste made with flour
and butter
½ cup aged Calvados (stale
dark beer can be substituted)
1.
Heat oven to slow (300o F.)
2. Wash the tripe carefully in several changes of cold water.
Drain and slice the tripe into pieces two inches square.
3. In two separate kettles, cover the tripe with cold water and the
zombie feet with cold water. Bring each to a boil. Immediately add
two cups of cold water to each kettle to stop the cooking. Drain.
4. Line a large earthenware casserole or tripe pot with the blanched
zombie feet and cover with tripe. Add the carrots, onion, celery, leeks,
and bouquet garni. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Cover with cold
water and top with beef fat. The lid of the casserole or pot should have a
small hole to permit the escape of stream.
5. Cover the pot with the lid and prepare a thick paste with flour
and water. Seal the cover with the paste. Bring to boiling point on
top of stove, then place in oven. Bake twelve hours.
6. Break and discard the pastry seal. Uncover and discard the vegetables and bouquet garni. Transfer the tripe to a serving casserole and add the meat from the zombie feet but not the bones. Save the bones. Skim the fat from the liquid and season to taste with salt and pepper. Add the Calvados and strain the liquid through a double thickness of cheesecloth over the tripe. Serve piping hot as an appetizer before the main course of raw intestines.
Sprinkles and bones, these just seem to go together like, well, screws and nuts.
Bones
saved from General West’s Tripe and Zombie Pasties
12-inch
length of fresh zombie intestine
Water
2
onions, quartered
1 bunch
celery, chopped
3
carrots, peeled and washed
2
tablespoons salt
6
peppercorns
2
sprigs parsley
2 bay
leaves
2
teaspoon thyme
1. Place bones in a large kettle. Cover with water.
2. Add the fresh zombie intestine. Do not use old intestines
if you want meat in your soup. Wait for the meat to re-grow on the bones,
2 to 3 days.
3. Bring contents in kettle to a rolling boil and reduce heat.
Skim the surface to remove the fat and foam. Continue skimming until the
foam ceases to rise.
4. Add the remaining ingredients, cover loosely and simmer gently
until the meat falls easily from the bones, about five hours.
5. Strain the liquid to remove solids. Reserve the meat.
6. Cool quickly by placing the kettle in cold water. Chill
until the fat solidifies. Skim off the fat.
7. Return the meat to the broth and heat. Serve as an appetizer before the main course of raw intestines.
Brains
have long been a delicacy to both humans and zombies. But the lift from
eating a psychic’s brain is beyond compare. It is rumored that the effect
is similar to eating live monkey brains.
6 human
psychic brains
Salted
water
2 cups
Sprinkle’s Bone Soup broth
2
carrots, sliced
½ cup
sliced celery
2
onions, halved
2 bay
leaves
½
teaspoon thyme
1 cup
butter
1
tablespoon cider vinegar
2
tablespoons capers
1. Soak the brains in water to cover with two teaspoons salt for
fifteen minutes. Remove the covering membrane and veins.
2. Drop the brains into boiling broth and add carrot, celery, onion,
bay leaves and thyme. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, for thirty minutes.
3. Remove the brains, slice and place on a hot serving dish. Brown the butter, add the vinegar and capers and pour over the brains. Serve as an appetizer before the main course of raw intestines.
During
filming, the Lab Technician disappeared after being paid for his services.
But while patrolling the perimeter of the F.A.R.M., Jeremiah found his body in
the woods. Always one to pocket the catering funds when free food presents
itself, Jeremiah made the following.
1
technician’s liver
2
pounds dry oatmeal
1
pound suet
2 ½
cups Sprinkle’s stock
1
onion, chopped
½
teaspoon cayenne pepper
1
teaspoon
1
tablespoon salt
1. Boil liver and parboil the onion, then mince them together.
2. Lightly brown the oatmeal. Mix all ingredients together.
3. Fill the technician's pluck with the mixture pressing it down to
remove all the air, and sew up securely.
4. Prick the haggis in several places so that it does not burst.
5. Place haggis in boiling water and boil slowly for 4-5 hours. Serve hot as an appetizer before the main course of raw intestines.
Due to
some strange twist of fate, we were able to serve this dish twice. And it
was better the second time around.½
teaspoon Marjoram
½ teaspoon Thyme
¼ pound mushroom caps
2 tablespoons
2 ½ pounds pervert meat, cut into 2" cubes
2 pervert kidneys, quartered
1 large onion, sliced
2 cups Sprinkle’s stock
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon Marjoram
½ teaspoon Thyme
¼ pound mushroom caps
2 tablespoons flour
Oil for browning
Zombie Pasty CrustZombie
Pasty Crust
1. Soak kidneys in cold, lightly salted water for 30 minutes. Drain,
remove skin and membrane. Dry and cut into quarters.
2. Heat oil in heavy skillet or Dutch oven. Brown beef, add kidneys
and onions, saute about 5 minutes.
3. Add stock, salt, pepper and herbs. Bring to boil, reduce heat and
simmer gently, covered, for 2 hours.
4. Add mushrooms. With slotted spoon, remove meat mixture into large
glass pie plate. Place shot glass in center to "hold up" the crust.
5. Stir flour into liquid, bring to boil, pour over meat. Cover with
pastry, gashed to allow steam to escape.
6. Bake at 450 degrees until pastry is slightly brown. Serve hot as an appetizer before the main course of raw intestines.
This
was a very popular dish with the zombies as well as Bruno. What we didn’t
tell Bruno was that the grey mush was Mariangela’s Rancid Entrails. Jeremiah,
who came up with this recipe while making sour mash corn liquor, says it can be
used whenever meat products become a little ripe. And when stored in its
hermetically sealed bags, government scientists say it can last over one hundred
years. Oh, it serves well with Twinkies.
Any old
and rancid meat product
Water
Sugar
Cayenne
Pepper
1. In a large kettle, place the putrefied meat, cover with water.
2. Heat the mixture outdoors, do not cook this inside, to a
boil. Continue to boil until all the rancid odors are removed from the
mixture. Add water as necessary.
3. Add sugar to taste to offset the acid from the putrefication.
4. Add cayenne pepper to taste to cover any other displeasing
tastes. Allow the mixture to cool.
5. Seal in individual serving bags. These can be eaten as a snack or appetizer before the main course of raw intestines
Health Inspector Sausage
Serves the greater good
One day
during filming, a representative from the local health department showed up to
“investigate’ the catering operation. It was overheard that he asked
Jeremiah for his Catering License and something about unsanitary conditions.
Jeremiah, who was drunk at the time, later said, “I knew that wood chipper would
come in handy.” When asked for the recipe the following day, Jeremiah
claimed to have bought the sausage from a local meat market.
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